


do you know me?

by wolfchester



Series: heartbreak warfare [2]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Gen, also hugs, bucky barnes has issues and needs some tissues, bucky dreams about natasha, its not always about good things, kind of mentioning the stuff that happened in ca:tws but not reallt, this is quite sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A feather in my hand, a flower in your hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you know me?

**Author's Note:**

> i /finally/ watched ca:tws last weekend and the fact that bucky didn't seem to remember natasha at all really hit me in the gut.
> 
> i think she (movie-natasha, not comics-natasha) knew him, though, past what she said about him shooting her in the stomach. i think movie-natasha wasn't telling steve the entire truth...
> 
> anyway, that's kind of going off on a tangent for what this piece is /actually/ about - which is bucky barnes having dreams? memories? nightmares? (will we ever know?) about natasha romanov.

**do you know me at all?**

 

a feather in my hand, a flower in your hair.

 

* * *

 

_It's just the strangest thing_

_I've seen your face somewhere_

_An early evening dream_

_A past life love affair_

_Do you know me? At all?_

 

* * *

 

You dream of her, sometimes.

In that disorientating space between deep sleep and awakeness, when you’re not quite conscious but your mind is still running rampant, telling stories and twisting rhymes of people you _think_ you once met, and places you _think_ you once visited, and lips you _think_ you once kissed. Sometimes the dreams (are they dreams? memories? nightmares? you’re not sure) make sense, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re surrounded by a cold clear mist, and it makes your head fuzzy and your limbs go numb and maybe it’s got something to do with the empty space between missions you don’t remember experiencing.

(You learn years later that they wiped your mind and froze you. The truth doesn’t scare you as much as it should.) 

Most times, there’s a girl in the dreams. Red hair, green eyes, sharp hands. Sometimes she smiles at you, sometimes she kisses you. But then her lips turn into knives that slice at the skin of your cheek until you awaken, screaming, in a lonely room with no windows.

The echo of a name - Natalia - haunts you, and you have the feeling that you knew her. In another lifetime, perhaps. Not in this windowless room. You knew her in the snows of winter, in bleeding bullet wounds, in fleeting moments of ecstasy before she was taken away from you.

Where is she now? 

You do not work for the KGB anymore. You work for HYDRA, and it is the 21st century. Is the girl still alive? 

She is. You find this out because you try to kill her on more than one occasion. The most recent is in Washington D.C., and you could have killed her with one bullet but you didn’t. You shot her in the shoulder instead. She will live. You’re not sure if that’s such a good thing, because you don’t know if she remembers you. You don’t quite remember her, either, only that she was important to you in a different time and that her hair is the colour of dirty red blood on cold, calculating hands. 

You haven’t had a dream - no, a _nightmare_ \- about her in two decades. But the screams come for you that night, before they wipe you the next day and you forget meeting her again. 

In this dream, she does not kiss you. She puts a gun to your chest, aiming straight for the heart, and she does not miss.

 

* * *

 

_In all my reverie_

_I thought I felt us there_

_A feather in my hand_

_a flower in your hair_

_Do you know me? At all?_

 

* * *

 

 

**end**


End file.
